Pygmalion, Heartbreak House, and Saint Joan by George Bernard Shaw & Brad Kent

Author:George Bernard Shaw & Brad Kent [Shaw, George Bernard & Kent, Brad]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780192511768
Publisher: OUP Oxford
Published: 2021-01-04T00:00:00+00:00

Hector sits down in the draughtsman’s chair, turning it to face Randall, who remains standing, leaning at his ease against the carpenter’s bench.

randall. I take it that we may be quite frank. I mean about Lady Utterword.

hector. You may. I have nothing to be frank about. I never met her until this afternoon

randall [straightening up] What! But you are her sister’s husband.

hector. Well, if you come to that, you are her husband’s brother.

randall. But you seem to be on intimate terms with her.

hector. So do you.

randall. Yes; but I am on intimate terms with her. I have known her for years.

hector. It took her years to get to the same point with you that she got to with me in five minutes, it seems.

randall [vexed] Really, Ariadne is the limit [he moves away huffishly towards the windows].

hector [coolly] She is, as I remarked to Hesione, a very enterprising woman.

randall [returning, much troubled] You see, Hushabye, you are what women consider a good-looking man.

hector. I cultivated that appearance in the days of my vanity; and Hesione insists on my keeping it up. She makes me wear these ridiculous things [indicating his Arab costume] because she thinks me absurd in evening dress.

randall. Still, you do keep it up, old chap. Now, I assure you I have not an atom of jealousy in my disposition—

hector. The question would seem to be rather whether your brother has any touch of that sort.

randall. What! Hastings! Oh, dont trouble about Hastings. He has the gift of being able to work sixteen hours a day at the dullest detail, and actually likes it. That gets him to the top wherever he goes. As long as Ariadne takes care that he is fed regularly, he is only too thankful to anyone who will keep her in good humour for him.

hector. And as she has all the Shotover fascination,* there is plenty of competition for the job, eh?

randall [angrily] She encourages them. Her conduct is perfectly scandalous. I assure you, my dear fellow, I havnt an atom of jealousy in my composition; but she makes herself the talk of every place she goes to by her thoughtlessness. It’s nothing more: she doesnt really care for the men she keeps hanging about her; but how is the world to know that? It’s not fair to Hastings. It’s not fair to me.

hector. Her theory is that her conduct is so correct—

randall. Correct! She does nothing but make scenes from morning til night. You be careful, old chap. She will get you into trouble: that is, she would if she really cared for you.

hector. Doesnt she?

randall. Not a scrap. She may want your scalp to add to her collection; but her true affection has been engaged years ago. You had really better be careful.

hector. Do you suffer much from this jealousy?

randall. Jealousy! I jealous! My dear fellow, havnt I told you that there is not an atom of—

hector. Yes. And Lady Utterword told me she never made scenes. Well, dont waste your jealousy on my moustache.

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